Everyone has someone in their life that seems to have it all together. Often it is not a close friend or relative (because when you really get to know someone you realize that no one really has it all together).
One question that is frequently asked of me as a woman in ministry is “How do you balance everything?” Well, the short answer is, I don’t. My laundry piles up in my laundry room. My kids don’t always get a full night’s sleep before school the next day. My kindergartner often does his weekend homework on Monday morning before school. And I certainly do not provide healthy, well-balanced meals for my family every night. But I don’t think that balance is the key. It is not about separating every aspect of my life and making sure everything gets equal or adequate attention. It is about integrating everything.
As a family, we try not to separate family time and church time. It is all family time. Sometimes we are together at our house. Sometimes we are together at a piano recital or a t-ball game. Other times we are together at church. During our Code Orange Revival, my mother offered to let my kids go and stay at her house for at week. And while that would have been easier, it went against our whole purpose as a family… we do it together. I want my kids to have a front row seat to see all the amazing things God is doing in and through our church (at an age appropriate level) and they cannot experience that if they are not there. A lot of those Code Orange nights, they came only for the beginning of church and then went home with a babysitter. But they got to meet almost all of the speakers, and they got to experience some of the worship, and they got to participate in our children’s ministry.
I am also working on being with my kids when I am with my kids. You know what I mean by this. I am learning (please hear me say I am learning) that I need to get my stuff done when they are at school or napping or sleeping at night or with a sitter. The time for me to read my bible or prepare for my small group or work on my blog is not from 3-5 pm when they are waking up from naps and coming home from school. I want to work my schedule so that I can be not only present but active with them. They love it when I sit outside while they are playing. I need to be with them when I am with them.
Integration can also happen in my personal life. On the many mornings when I did not get up and have a cup of hot tea and read my bible before my kids have woken up, that doesn’t mean that my day is shot spiritually. God wants me to integrate my relationship with Him throughout my day. I can listen to a sermon at the gym, or while I am unloading my dishwasher. I can pray while I am driving my car and my kids are listening to Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep” for the 100th time. I can work on scripture memory with my kids while they are eating breakfast and I am packing lunches.
I do not get this right all the time. But I work towards integration, not balance. Colossians 3:4 says “When Christ, who is your life, appears…” Christ is my life. He is not a part of my life. And I want to live like that.








Comments
Hi Holly,
I have commented in the past, and enjoy reading so much your blog, your opinions, what you are learning, your recipes (which I have used:)), and just thoroughly enjoy getting a little “glimpse” of what is going on in the U.S. I have a question that I wonder if you have a couple bits of advice about: I notice you will be at a conference in Seattle (that’s where I’m from, bring an umbrella, and DEFINITELY getcha’ some Fran’s salt chocolates – the best!), anyways, thinking about your life, with 3 little ones, being Pastor’s wife, wanting to be “present” in your home, and for your husband, how do you find time to create your sermons? And does that ever get a bit overwhelming, or stressful? My hubby whips them out every week – and I just was the conference speaker for a Women’s retreat here, and came up with 3 (of course they all were “birthed” by simply nuggets God was speaking to me about in my own quiet time with Him), but it takes me MUCH concentration, and quite a while to ‘get down’, and it seems they really take away – or, I mean, like, I feel like I’m not attending as much as I should during those times at home. How do you manage or “juggle”, preparing your sermons, when you get opportunities to speak (when they are multiple at a time). Thanks in advance for any bits of advice! Many blessings to you! May the Hand of God be upon you, and just as Jeremiah was so encouraged in Jer. 1, may you walk and speak confidently, knowing it was He ‘who put His words in your mouth’.
Posted By: Kelly Webb | May 10th, 2012 at 11:59 am
Holly -
Thank you for this word today. My husband and I were just talking about this very thing this morning as he is doing a radio show on family time today. I was reading a book yesterday on fathers and daughters and how important it is for your whole family to do life together and not try to separate out the kids because they are kids. They learn so much from doing, experiencing and being together. We try very hard to do what you are talking about here. I wish more families would take the time to live this way. Our church is having a 24 hour period of prayer in a few weeks. The temptation is to say that our kids (ages 7,7, & 4) won’t get it or understand but I’ve pushed that temptation aside and we will bring them for a small period of time to experience the prayer time and to learn and see what God is doing. So valuable!
Thank you for your example!
Posted By: Jodie | May 10th, 2012 at 12:12 pm
You are a kindred spirit Holly. So often your words ring true to the very thing God is doing in me.
Thank you for your honesty sweet friend.
Posted By: Andie | May 10th, 2012 at 12:49 pm
This post really caps my past few days. I have recently had to defend myself for choosing kid time over cleaning time while they are awake and home. Since they have school and I have work, I choose to spend the few hours I see them a night with them rather than being ‘busy’ with my to do list.
Carrying Christ throughout the day whether at church or not is such a great concept not often seen! I applaud you for your ministry and your passion for Christ and your family. Thanks for sharing this blog. I look forward to each post!
Posted By: Falen | May 10th, 2012 at 12:52 pm
Beautiful and so true! I, too, am trying to be fully present.
Posted By: Marsha C | May 10th, 2012 at 1:16 pm
Dear Holly,
Thank you so much for speaking at Champions Centre tonight. The WORD you spoke was exactly what I needed to hear from God, and coming from a busy mommy such as yourself helped it sink in deep.
Now, I came to check out your blog n and find that your writing about my code word of the year, present. Being present during my time with family instead of thinking of all that needs to be done, taking time to be present with God (or as you said tonight filling our lips with praise) instead of focusing on the issues.
Thank you so much for setting such a great example for us Moms.
Your sister in Christ
Posted By: Christine Wood | May 11th, 2012 at 1:55 am
hi Holly
I would like to thank you for this post too,i am a college student and i am coming to the end of my academic year,i am so overwhelmed by the stuff i do as a leader at church,a leader in school and also doing music and art on a personal level,there are times (a lot) when i feel like i am failing to balance everything and just today i was thinking of quitting to focus on my studies only.
Posted By: igine | May 12th, 2012 at 6:55 am
This post really touched my heart today. Over the past few weeks, I have felt as though I was “failing” at everything – work, motherhood, being a good wife, growing in Christ. Your words reminded me that life is a journey, there will be ups and downs. I just have to keep asking God for wisdom, guidance, and trusting in Him to help me to “integrate” everything.
I especially liked your comments regarding quiet times. I often feel guilty when I do not have a quiet time first thing in the morning. But God doesn’t care what the hour is when I spend time in fellowship with Him….He just wants me to desire to spend time with Him.
Posted By: Kimberly | May 21st, 2012 at 2:21 pm
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