Own it

Last night I was talking to my friend on the phone.  We were talking about how one of her kids and one of my kids is “that kid.”

You know “that kid.”  When you see them coming you think, what are they going to do this time.  Who are they going to hit, kick, pinch, or scream at?  Whose toy are they going to steal?  What thing will they break?  And what will they say?

The thing is, chances are, if you have more than 1 child, you will have a “that kid.”

In our conversation, she was saying how she wishes her child wasn’t “that kid.”  She wishes she could drop her off at preschool and not worry about the report from the teacher when she returns to pick her up.  And while we were talking about our “that kids” I had this revelation.  Instead of wishing my child wasn’t always the one causing trouble I need to just own it and deal with it.

So I do have a child that causes trouble.  We are working on it.  When I arrive at the school, and the teacher has a bad report, that’s ok.  I will discipline even when I feel like it isn’t working.  I will make them apologize even though they don’t mean it.  I will apologize to the teacher and tell her we are working on it.  I am not ignoring the issues, I am just facing them rather than wishing they weren’t there.  Owning it also means, when she is having a really hard day, I am going to have to forgo the grocery store or the play date so that I am not setting her up for failure.

And I while I am owning it, I remind myself that there are indeed two sides to every coin.  And “that kid” is spirited and determined and a leader and decisive.  Some kids just don’t make good kids, but they turn out to make amazing adults.  And (with the help of the Lord) I am going to raise “that kid” to be a world changer.

Owning it isn’t just about raising difficult children.  It is about any situation that you need to face and not wish away.

You lost your job?  You cannot keep spending the way you used to spend, but you do have extra time to help people in need this Christmas season.

Your marriage is struggling?  You need to put your pride aside and get some help, but you are still married and your children have two parents who are going to work it out rather than walk away.

You struggle with depression?  You need to memorize scripture and see a doctor, but you can have empathy for others going through similar situations.

I don’t know what your situation is that you wish you didn’t have to.  But you have it.  And if you own it, face it then see the flip side of the coin, that situation cannot have control of you, you will have control of it.