Ephesians 4:15 says Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
I think that Ephesians 4:15 is so often misquoted. I get tired of Christians running around correcting each other proclaiming that they are just “speaking the truth in love.” Does a true friend speak the truth in love? Yes. But a true friend also knows that just because something is true, it does not always have to be spoken.
For instance, if my friend has on an outfit that does not look the best on her, am I to tell her? Of course not. That would only embarrass her. If my friend is complaining about her husband, am I to call her out in a loving way and tell her she shouldn’t do that?
What about my husband? If he is watching too much tv or eating unhealthy foods, do I need to tell him in a loving way? What if he is losing his temper with our kids, do I need to confront him?
Sometimes, love doesn’t need to speak. Sometimes love remembers I lose my temper, I watch too much tv, and I complain too. Sometimes love just prays.
My husband often jokes and calls me the Holly Spirit. This is funny, but I have to constantly remind myself that I am not the Holy Spirit. God did not put me on earth to point out the faults of those around me. I have plenty of faults of my own to deal with. And when I see something that someone in my life is doing wrong, sometimes the best thing I can do is pray and trust the Holy Spirit (who lives inside of them too!) to correct them. Check out this verse from the Amplified Version…
John 14:26 But the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will cause you to recall (will remind you of, bring to your remembrance) everything I have told you.
He causes us to recall what we have been taught! And he doesn’t need my help. This weekend, I thought it was so funny when my husband said we need to remind ourselves that we are not the associate pastor to the Holy Spirit.
I do not always do this right. But I can tell you that the times where I have seen a fault in my friend, or my husband, and I have taken it to the Lord, I have seen the Lord convict his or her heart. One time, I decided that rather than nag my husband about something I wanted my him to change, I would pray for him. Several weeks later he came to me and asked me if there was anything I saw in his life that I needed to change. It was then that I spoke the truth in love. There have been other times where I prayed about something and I saw the Lord do a work in a friend and I did even play a part in their change.
I need to remember that true change takes place when the Holy Spirit speaks, not me.
Comments
Perfect words! Thank you for taking time to write this from your heart!
Posted By: Audra Prairie | March 18th, 2014 at 11:15 am
A while back when I was first experiencing a relationship with God (and my husband wasn’t), I thought I was “helping” him by instructing him in the way he should go. Needless to say, that never worked out the way I hoped. Over the years, I have begun to pray long before I ever even think about confronting someone on something. And 9 times out of 10, I feel lead by God to do nothing overtly. Most of the time, He has instructed me to leave the situation up to Him. I’m so thankful for this because I’m afraid, looking back, I have caused more harm than good “helping” others see the error of their ways. :/
God’s motives are always right and true and pure…..unfortunately, mine aren’t always.
Posted By: Carrie | March 18th, 2014 at 1:00 pm
This message couldn’t have come at more of a perfect time in my journey.
Carrie – you were spot on with your comment and I am exactly there right now.
Posted By: Michelle | March 18th, 2014 at 4:33 pm
Excellent Holly !
Posted By: Kelli | March 18th, 2014 at 6:28 pm
Love your blog! Thanks for sharing these words of wisdom. Reading and hearing about your life stories are helpful as I deal with my similar struggles. The fact that you and Pastor Steven are so humble to share your personal reflections and truths make it easier for someone like me to realize my own truths and areas for reflection. You all are a blessing!
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Posted By: Nikki | March 19th, 2014 at 8:44 am
YES! THIS! Sometimes I find this frustrating, but more often I find it so freeing to remember I’m not the Holy Spirit — or his associate pastor. ;) And THANK YOU for reminding us that just because something is true does NOT mean it has to be spoken. Amen.
Posted By: Amanda | March 19th, 2014 at 5:10 pm
Thank you for this. I was able to deflate a rising situation and things worked better than if I had tried to do the work(talking) myself. I actually replayed your words in my mind while handling the situation. I hope this blesses you to know.
“…true change takes place when the Holy Spirit speaks, not me.”
Posted By: Andrea Bailey | March 20th, 2014 at 3:50 pm
Great post Holly!
Posted By: Tara | March 23rd, 2014 at 10:05 am
Thank you, Ms. Holly! Great help :’)
Posted By: Indra Tan | April 2nd, 2014 at 4:12 am
God is always on time… You have NO idea how much I needed to read this today. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and guidance!
Posted By: Rachael | April 11th, 2014 at 6:22 pm
Thank you so much for this Holly!
Posted By: Ashley | April 29th, 2014 at 3:00 pm
Beautiful! I love the dusky photos as the baunorgckd turns all lovely and pink it goes great with her yellow sweater :) Side note totally envious of her amazing curls! So pretty!!
Posted By: Xiao | November 20th, 2014 at 8:08 pm
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