I've been having this thought… I feel like God is telling me that I cannot ride my husband's spiritual coat tails.  In our line of work, it is easy to fall into the trap of depending on my husband's faith.  His vision, his purpose, and dangerously, his relationship with God.

It's a hard line to balance.  He is my husband, we are one.  His vision should be my vision, his purpose mine.  And he is my spiritual leader, his relationship with God directly affects mine.  But his relationship with God cannot replace my own relationship with God.

I also cannot ride the spiritual coat tails of our church.  It is such a privilege to be a part of a move of God.  There's nothing like hearing the testimonies and seeing the hands raised (yes, I peek).  But if I don't allow God to speak to me each week, change me, seeing God move in others will only last me so long.

The danger is that it sneaks up on you.  With a family to care for, a house to manage and responsibilities at our church, it is easy to let the urgent take the place of the important.  Before you know it, you find yourself in a funk and burnt out.

I hope you don't think I am just talking to women in the ministry.  I'm not.  You can't ride anyone's coat tails, not your mom or your pastor or your friend. 

There is no easy solution to this.  No magic formula of how to balance my time and responsibilities with my downtime.  But the truth is if I don't continually cultivate my own faith I will not make it in ministry.  Awareness is definitely the first step.  Action should follow. 

Sorry, I don't have any cut and dry action steps.  Mine would be different than yours.  But I can start with a simple prayer, "Lord, I want to know you.  Reveal yourself to me today.  I will obey whatever you tell me."