Holly Furtick

There are times in my life where I feel overwhelmed with the level of leadership I have been given.  While I feel honored that God would place me in the position I am in as a mother, a wife, and a pastor’s wife, I feel schizophrenic.  Some days, I feel confident that can embrace my position and be greatly used by God, but other days I worry that I am going to fail.  What if people think I am more spiritual than I really am?

The times when my fear of failure is the greatest are the seasons in my life where I am overcommitted and spread too thin.  I can never allow myself to become more wide than I am deep, spiritually speaking.

When I feel myself heading in a direction where I am spending so much time leading others and caring for others that I am not spending any time personally in God’s Word, I know that it is time for me to pull back.  Yes, it is ok to have seasons of busyness, but if my busy season lasts month after month after month, I know that I will find myself in a place of fear and failure.

Confidence in who God has called me to be can really only come from God himself.  So often, when I find myself in a dry space, I seek for that encouragement from others, because I have made no time to let God pour into me, and I still feel empty.

Awareness is the first step.  Knowing that I have committed to too much and am spread too thin.  Intentionality is the second step.  Learning to pull back, say no, and make sure that I am freeing myself up to spend time in God’s Word on a consistent basis.

Overflow is the goal.  I want to live my life in such a way that God pours into me and it overflows into my leadership, my mothering, and my relationship with my husband.  I like the way Paul said it…

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
 Romans 15:13

I recently started drinking more water.  All my life I have tried to be a water drinker but never really liked drinking it.  I preferred to have something with taste.  I would never completely enjoy a meal if I had to drink plain old water with it.  But about 6 months ago, I started drinking water with lemon and really started to not only enjoy drinking water but also craving it.

And the funny thing about water (that does not happen with other drinks, in my opinion) is the more you drink it, the thirstier you become.

I came across John 4 in my Bible reading plan the other day.  It is the story of Jesus and the woman at the well.  He says to her, “I am the living water,” and then he says in verse 13, ”Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, ¹⁴ but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

I have always kinda struggled with this passage.  I understand that it is saying, Jesus can fill every void in your life.  But the never thirst again part holds me up because I just have to admit, I still have times of thirst in my life.  Times where I am discontent, or feeling maybe, unfulfilled.

And as I have thought on this passage, the Lord brought my water drinking experience to mind.  The more you drink water, the more you want water.  And it is the same way with Jesus.  The more you drink of Him, the more you want of Him and the more fulfilled you feel.  And feel is the key word, because when Jesus came into my life, He filled me, all the way.  But I don’t always feel that way.

You see, if I fill my day with busyness, even the busyness of good things like caring for my family, and then when I have a few moments to relax, I spend that time in some mindless entertainment, never taking even a fraction of my day to pray and read God’s Word, eventually, I will not even thirst for the things of Christ.  And then eventually I will find myself feeling busy and unfulfilled.

But if I take a few moments each day to focus on Jesus, then I will begin to want more of Him.  I will think more of Him.  And I will see Him in my busyness and I will feel fulfilled because I will know that He is in it all with me.  The more you drink, the thirstier you become.

Jesus said in Matthew 5:6, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled.”

Being thirsty for Jesus doesn’t start like drinking water from a fire hydrant.  It starts with just drinking a glass every day.

Psalm 139:23-24
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

I memorized this verse when I was a little girl. And up until the other day, I always thought of it as a verse that was asking God to show me my sin. But the other day the phrase, “know my anxious thoughts,” jumped out at me.

Have you ever had one of those days where your thoughts were just running wild with anxiety? And you knew your thoughts were so ridiculous that you shouldn’t even voice them to anyone? Being anxious like having a voice screaming in your head while you are trying to concentrate on having a normal day.

But how comforting to know that God knows my ridiculous, anxious thoughts. Psalm 139:2 says, “You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.” And God is the One who can calm them. When I have these moments, I have to ground myself. I have to stop and remind myself who I am, and to borrow from my husband’s teaching, I have to remember whose I am.

I think anxious thoughts offend God because it is as if I am saying, I don’t trust God. I am a child of God, called by God. I am empowered, through His grace, to be an amazing mom, and wife, and pastor’s wife. He knows my anxious thoughts and He wants me to trust Him with them. Just like 1 Peter 5:7 say, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

I love the story of Jesus’ resurrection.  Of course I love the part about Jesus conquering death, that is unarguably the best part of the story.  But recently I have been thinking about the women.  The first people Jesus chose to reveal his resurrected self to was a group of women.

Have you ever wondered why?  It could be that He knew the women would spread the news the fastest.  Like how if I want to spread the news about something I tell my friend Nicole.  She has this uncanny ability to find out a piece of information and spread it.  Jesus would have definitely wanted her to be at the tomb.

Maybe it was because he knew that particular group of women would obey without question.   Women are doers.  Matthew 28 tells us that they went to the tomb to prepare Jesus body with spices and oils and an angel appeared to them and told them Jesus was alive and that they needed to go and tell everyone.  And so they did, even though they had yet to actually see him resurrected.

The best part is in verse 9.  It says, “As they went, Jesus met them, and greeted them.  And they ran to him, grasped his feet, and worshiped him.”  Sometimes I think God waits for me to obey before he meets me.

I think that God should meet me when I am in the act of reading my bible or worshiping at church.  The truth is, He doesn’t always work that way.  Sometimes he waits until after I have left church and I start obeying what I learned to meet me.  And then all a sudden, in the midst of my everyday, mundane life activities like driving my kids to school, or even in the midst of a conversation with a friend, He whispers something to me.  Maybe a small reminder, or an inclination to pray for someone, or just an, “I love you,” or an, “I’m proud of you.”  Or my most recent, “Just keep doing what you’re doing.  It matters to me.”

I need to stop being discouraged when I read the Bible and the Words don’t jump off the page at me.  Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t.  Sometimes, God just wants me to obey before I have “seen” Him, because it takes a bit more faith.

Colossians 3:14
Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.

It is no secret that I love clothes. I spend a lot of time thinking and planning and deciding what I am going to wear each day.

But have you ever thought about the importance of clothing your spirit? Do I take a few minutes each day to ask the Lord to clothe me in His love?

It is love that makes me patient with my kids. It is love that enables me to forgive when I am hurt. It is love that helps me understand my spouse before I jump to conclusions. It is love that binds us together.

Dr. Caroline Leaf says that the thoughts you think the first 7 minutes of your morning set the trajectory of your mood for the day. Now this is a whole other post in and of itself. But what if I woke up tomorrow morning and asked the Lord to clothe me in love that day?

We all want a harmonious home. But we aren’t always willing to put in the effort that it takes to get that. It’s great to look nice and feel nice when you have the right clothes on. But it feels even better to live together in perfect unity with the ones that I love.

Sometimes a small adjustment can make a huge difference.

Last school year I had major issues getting Elijah to school on time.  He was always just 2-3 minutes late.  Rushing your children out the door is an awful feeling.  I don’t like it, they don’t like it, and it really isn’t effective in getting you anywhere any earlier.

This year, I made one small change about our mornings.  I make my children pack their lunches the afternoon before.  Everyday, when they come home from school, they are responsible to get their lunch packed for the next day.  Now, of course, I am in the kitchen helping them and making suggestions, but they do most of the work.

This small change impacted our family in many positive ways.  First, my children are learning responsibility.  Second, there is no rushing around the kitchen in the morning arguing about what they want for lunch.  Third, there is one less thing we have to do in the morning.

I cannot say that I have a perfect record of getting to school on time this year, but their tardies are few and far between and our mornings are (not perfect) but much calmer.

Small adjustments can have a big impact.  A huge ship can completely change course by adjusting only a few degrees.  Small adjustments in routine, or relationship, or maybe even a personal struggle can make dramatic improvements.  Sometimes you have to quit trying to make a big change and start with a small one.

In her James Bible study, Beth Moore says, “The doing causes the changing.”

What a great word for the start of the new year.  We all have something we want to change about ourselves.  Whether it is something big or something small.  Or something small that has turned into to something big.

James 1:22-25 says, Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

God will not start blessing my efforts until I have made one.  Why would He do all the work for me?  I know this is so much easier said than done.  And progress can feel so slow sometimes.  But one thing is for sure, change comes by doing.  Not reading.  Not thinking.  Not dreaming.  It comes by doing.

And the beautiful thing is God does not leave me in the dark with this ambiguous “do.”  He has given me his Word and His Spirit and He promises never to leave me alone.