Be yourself (the addendum)

Last week I posted and answer to this question…
Is it hard for people to see you as yourself, or do they find it hard to seperate you from some of the different hats you wear? (pastor wife, etc.._)

You can read what I wrote here.

After a great date night conversation with my husband, I realized that my post was not finished.  I have something I need to add.

You see, my husband is the opposite of a people-pleaser.  Truly a role model for me in this area of my life.  Last week he had a situation where he was misunderstood by another person in ministry and it hurt him.  He had made a choice to put our family and our church priority over an outside ministry event and another person was not happy with that.

Here's the thing, and this is not just pertaining to ministry.  In life, you can either become a slave to everyone's opinions of what you should do and say, or you can decide what your gifts and priorities are and order your life around that.  BUT either way, someone is not going to be happy because you can never make everyone happy with you, no matter how hard you try.  And it always hurts when people are not happy with you.

My goal should not be to make everyone happy.  My goal should be to serve and honor the people God has directly placed in my life, to put them first and let everything else fall into place.  For me that is my husband, then my kids, then my family, close friends and our church.  And when, not if, someone gets upset because I did not meet their expectation, I will be sad, I will be hurt, but I will not be surprised.

So in clarification of this statement that I made last week, "As best as I can, I need to tell others who I am, not the other way around," telling others who I am doesn't always mean that everyone will be happy with me, but hopefully my kids will not grow up saying I put everyone before them.  And hopefully, my marriage will be stronger in 20 years than it is today because I chose to make it a priority.