I grew up in a house full of women. My family consisted of me, my two sisters, my mom, my dad, and our dog Barkley (also a girl). When asked what it was like to live in a house full of women, my dad would often reply, "It's always that time of the month."
So needless to say, there were a lot of tears shed in my house, and my dad could only take so much crying. I remember my dad getting frustrated more than one time when I started crying. He looked at me and delivered the classic line, "And if you don't stop crying, I will give you something to cry about!"
Over the Summer and leading into the Fall, I had had a difficult time having genuine time with the Lord in prayer and Bible study. I just wasn't feeling it, and I wasn't feeling a need or an urgency. I took this to the Lord. I told Him I really wanted to pray more, read more scripture, but I just couldn't get things going. And about 2 months ago, in the middle of one of these pleas, I heard the Lord gently say, "do you want me to give you something to pray about?" Eesh. Maybe not.
But he did. The past 6 weeks have been full of many challenges-on a higher level than I've ever experienced. I have felt at times over the past few weeks like my world was a 1000 piece puzzle that was starting to really take shape when someone came by and accidentally overturned the table.
And I've had to sort a lot of pieces. I've had to make level paths. I have had people leave my life, and have had new people enter in my world. I am also currently walking with my husband's family through a rough medical diagnosis for his dad.
You know what though, as difficult as the past several weeks have been, I have felt drawn to the Lord like never before. I have felt my need for His presence and wisdom like never before. I have listened to scripture and worship songs, spent time in prayer and the Word out of the deepest necessity to function. And I know that the Lord is the only one who can help me get the puzzle together. I have peace that He is working out something great in me and my family.
When God gives you something to cry about something to pray about, it isn't a sign that He's annoyed with you. It's a sign that He's drawing near to you.
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.